so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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