Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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