jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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