Sry I called you an 8
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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