Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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