Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
