I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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