I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
