HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
