I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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