He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
