You really coming over, don't trick.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
