I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
