Your face is a jimmy john
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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