are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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