On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
