we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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