Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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