this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
