Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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