what day is it and did you see me today?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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