I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
