I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
