I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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