You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love having hate sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
