You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
