If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
