It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
