I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize