32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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