ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
