on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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