i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
