and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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