my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize