We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
