I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
