There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
