i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
