Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
