I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
