it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
