It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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