so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
