so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
