Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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