we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
