guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
