Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
