it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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