I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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