thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
