he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm always down for nudity.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
