Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
