He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize