I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
