Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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