do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
