I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
