I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
