So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
