i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize