yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
