Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize