lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
