There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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