Church boner. Awkwardddd
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
